So it has been a trying evening...
For Mother's Day I got a nice new Nikon D80... beautiful camera... I have only had the camera for 4 days... well tonight Mr. Mason decided to pull it off of the counter and destroy it...
I feel like a failure as a mommy for getting so angry, for screaming profanities and hating life for an hour or so...
I know this is only the beginning of many trials and tribulations this little man has to offer me... I feel so guilty for letting my anger get the best of me and make my kids feel so frightened with my yelling...
At one point I was thinking "I hate my life as a mommy and a wife"... I am sad right now... I know it is just a material thing... and that's not the point... I am sad because the whole situation is my fault, and I am angry, and my kids should never have to see me that angry.
I just had to vent... I am still shaking because of my emotions getting the best of me. I went in and held my babies tight and cried and apologized to them for yelling... but that doesn't make it right... why am I such a failure at this mommy thing?
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1 comment:
I command you right now to stop talking like that Tara Louise Stewart!!!
Don't make me get mean mommy on your behind! ;)
Seriously, we all have our moments and life can't be all happiness and light all the time
Real life comes with the good and the bad; the moments we are proud of and those we'd rather forget or take back if we could. Your parenting is guided by a deep love for your children and I think that is clearly evident. One incident of anger doesn't erase or belittle all the love and positive guidance you give them.
Okay, enough of my rambling! You're making me sad talking poorly about yourself and your mothering like this...yet I think any mother can relate to those feelings that creep in when we have bad days. Anyway, love to you Tara!
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